two weeks young

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Two weeks you've been earthside, and in that time you have shown me how quickly people can change. I've watched my husband become a father, my mother a grandmother, and I feel like a completely new person. I've watched you grow, ounces every day. Your eyebrows are more defined, you're more expressive, more coordinated, and more predictable. You make the same funny face every time you've had enough milk. You're fussier than you were the first week, mostly because your tummy hurts, but you're very good at communicating your needs and love to be patted, bounced, and walked. You have two cries, hungry and uncomfortable, one of which is resolved the second I pull out a nipple. I've watched my own body change remarkably fast, my belly shrinking much quicker than it grew. You're our little bug, our little squish, our Ella Bella. It's fun to dream about all the things we'll do with you when you're older. It's also fun to appreciate you for who you are right now. We love you so.

meeting friends

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It's Friday the 13th and you are 11 days old. Today is the first day since you were born that we haven't had any visitors. There are so many people who love you and are excited to meet you, we are the luckiest. You are such a sweet baby, you only fuss when your tummy hurts. You sleep most of the day and I have to wake you every two hours to eat so you won't nurse all night. We are getting a rhythm down and everyone is feeling more rested. The last two nights I didn't even have to wake your dad for help! We are so glad Grandma is here, especially since daddy is in Joshua Tree for Uncle Nick's wedding this weekend. Despite the fires all over Northern California, today is a beautiful day. I sure love October. 

hormones

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Our first few days are a blur of long nights, baby snuggles, soft cheeks, and so much love. I got to laze around in my sun drenched bedroom and stare at my perfect newborn while angels brought me food. The day my milk came in I was bursting. I felt like I had everything I'd ever wanted in my whole life and it was a crime to be this happy. I watch your papa with you and I get to fall in love with him all over again. You were worth the wait, kid. 

you're here!!

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Welcome to the world, baby girl! You joined our family on a sunny afternoon in October, and have pretty much been sleeping ever since. There were a few things I intuited about your birth. I thought you would be born on 10/2 (you were), I thought my labor would start with contractions (it did) and last 10-15 hours (it was 12 hours on the nose). And I thought you would be a girl. We are so glad you're here. Yesterday morning I stepped out of the shower and felt like someone should pinch methe fact that we made it to this point is astounding. I know we're only at the beginning of this journey, but it feels like a huge accomplishment to have gotten here. And we feel so incredibly lucky to have you.

Ella Clementine. Ella, a variation of Ellen, means light. When I read that I cried and knew it would be your name if you were a girl. I also love the way the name Ella feels in my mouth when I say it. Clementine because we wanted a nature name. And when I read that a nickname for Clementine was Lemon, I just about died I thought that was the cutest thing ever. Our little lemon. 

getting closer

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You are due in two days. Your dad is working tirelessly on house projects, finishing up the floors in your room and painting baseboards so we can move your things in. I am relishing in the change in seasons and have been baking and cooking quite a bit. Applesauce, marinara, chile verde, carrot ginger soup, oatmeal raisin cookies...I hope you love food as much as we do. I get choked up when I think about how close we are to meeting you and naming you, I'm 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced, making progress. My midwives think it may happen within the week. I'm not sleeping great, particularly between the hours of midnight and 3 a.m., but I'm still swimming every other day and trying to nap as much as possible. Our days have an unhurried pace to them, and I feel happy and content. My body feels good, I'm not in any pain and I'm much more comfortable than I have been in weeks past. You are low in my pelvis and are no longer taking up real estate in my ribs, which is a relief. Getting closer!

Uncle John's Rendezvous 2017

Uncle John's Rendezvous 2017

Though the future of the festival is uncertain, this year being the final year in its current form, the imprint it has made on my life is remarkable. It is an honor to have been a part of something so rich in color and love over the years. It is the confluence of so many life-giving things: family and music and nature and food, friendship, art, conversation, and history. What a gift. Thank you to all who have made it what it is. 

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waiting for baby

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A woman at the grocery store asked me if I was nervous about giving birth. I told her I'm not. "Really?" she pressed, "you're not nervous at all?" Really, I'm not. But it sounds like you are, lady. I have felt really calm throughout this entire pregnancy, and I'm hoping the peace and serenity continue into early motherhood.

That being said, I feel like I'm waiting for a train, and I have no idea when it's going to get here. It could be two days, it could be three weeks. The train is going 100 mph, and once I get on, I'll never get off. 

I'm really excited to watch Jeffery become a dad. And I can't wait to meet our baby. I'm trying to swim every other day so my feet don't swell and nap daily. I got a pedicure and finished editing my August wedding. I have more thank-you-notes to write and I'm working my way through this novel. I'm mostly sleeping okay, as long as I prop myself up with lots of pillows. Tomorrow I'll be 38 weeks.

maternity photos in our garden

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My friend Jasmine snapped these photos of us at the end of July, and I'm so glad she did. I was 30 weeks along and our garden looked incredible. I am now 36 weeks, and the garden is overgrown, but finally producing more than it was. We have had a really hot summer, and the plants aren't happy. The heat wave is continuing into September, and hopefully after this things will cool down.

This blog has largely been neglected the duration of my pregnancy, and though I have lofty plans to blog the weddings, engagements, families, lookbooks, and portrait sessions I have shot this year, but I'm not sure if it will actually happen once baby arrives. I will need to market myself for when I'm ready to get back to work, and I imagine having another mouth to feed will be the motivation I need, so I'm optimistic. 

Baby Curry is very active, and I think he or she has dropped because I'm feeling more pressure down in my pelvis and less pressure up on my ribs. We finished up our birth classes last week, learned a lot and are feeling prepared, considering. I still have a lot of editing to do in the coming weeks, but other than that I'm trying to swim and nap as much as I can. Overall, I'm feeling grateful that I don't have a lot on my plate right now, but time will tell if the next four weeks creep by.